The Empowering Humility Podcast

Dolores: Welcome to Empowering Humility,
where we're on a mission to promote human

flourishing by restoring humility as
a common denominator in society today.

Let's dive in.

Brandon Giella: Hello and welcome
to the empowering humility podcast.

Today is episode number one and I
am so excited to be talking to the

illustrious Giancarlo Newsome, who is
the founder of empowering humility.

And I would just love to hear so much
of your background, why you're so

passionate about humility, what problems
you might be seeing in the world as

it relates to hubris or arrogance
or pride in contrast to humility and

what you think maybe the solution is.

And so that's what we're going to cover in
our first episode, the first of several.

That are coming out.

And before we get started with this
conversation, I would love for listeners

out there to join this movement.

So if you are passionate
about what you're seeing.

In the world, as far as civil discourse,
that's one of the topics we're

going to talk about at some point.

Politics, the way that people treat each
other, you know, kindness and all these

different dynamics, especially as it
relates to leadership, teamwork in the

workplace and just so many other topics.

If that is something that
you're passionate about.

Uh, we would love for you to go to
empowering humility dot com join

our newsletter, see our content,
share it with your friends and just

get involved with this movement.

And it's something that I know John
Carlo and your team so passionate about.

It's something I'm also care a lot
about, especially as it relates to

civility and kindness and respect.

And so, uh, anyway, so
that's my, my message.

Preamble as we start episode one.

But John Carlo, welcome to the
show and please give the folks

a little bit of background.

Who are you?

Who is John Carlo and why should we care?

Giancarlo Newsome: Awesome.

Thank you, Brandon.

Well, I should say no one should care.

If I'm part of this team that's
empowering humility, I don't matter.

I do matter, but I don't
matter, if that makes sense.

I think we were talking earlier about,
you know, most of us, there's no

shortage of self help books, right?

Right.

But what if we need more
self help without the self?

You know, you kind of look at, so I
mean, I'm just a guy just like you and

who's got some tragic life stories that
when you peel that on and you look back

and you go, a lot of those tragic and
relational stories, most of our pain is

tied to some form of broken relationship
that most of the time it's, It could

have been prevented with shared humility.

And as I've been, you know, and
this is, you know, they say a

lot of trauma takes, you know,
two to four years to get through.

But, you know, my particular baseline
story was about 10 years ago.

And, you know, as, but, but also
as we step back and kind of look

beyond ourselves, you look at kind
of what's going on in society, um,

you know, you have 42 percent of our
high schoolers have a consistent now

state of sadness or hopelessness.

Brandon Giella: mm-Hmm.

Giancarlo Newsome: You know, the America
was founded on some pretty awesome dreams

and hopes and clearly we've lost our way.

And, and, you know, again, you know, I,
I, I helped found Empowering Humility,

I think is a better way to state it.

There's so many other
people that are behind it.

So, um, that's a little bit about me.

We, we feel that in a nutshell,

most people recognize like that,

we'll go with very direct examples
of where we know there's Unhealthy

outcomes and people who profiteer off of
Encouraging our unhealthy behaviors and

a well known one is called porn hub But
one that's a lot as they appeal to lust

and sexual behaviors that are known to
be degrading There's a whole bunch of

other vices that just don't Capture pop
culture in terms of being problematic.

So as Pornhub is bad for, like sexual
relationships, Facebook and those

algorithms and what it makes money off
is bad for other type of vices like envy.

Brandon Giella: mm-Hmm.

Giancarlo Newsome: again, or,
or greed or pride, or bias.

And it's, there's great documentaries
like the social dilemma, That's quantified

just how much these algorithms are
Reinforcing our biases sometimes that's

for good but sometimes it's for bad and
in you know it's as they say the road

to hell is paved with good intentions.

I Think most people transition from a
state of humility state of pain or state

of good They become so in Involved in
it that then they go to the extremes

and there's hardly a person I meet and
I bet you too Brandon that Acknowledges

that extremes are bad and how do we
stay away from the extremes humility?

that's so our premise with empowering
humility We've got so much technology now

that reinforces Negative human behaviors.

Can we build some
technology that reinforces?

You At least one that we feel
is a baseline standard for good

relationships and good mental health.

And it's, and the statistics the
science has long proven that humility

is, mentally, physically, spiritually,
a healthy virtue to cultivate.

So that's, that's, um,
empowering humility.

If I wasn't clear, feel
free to ask some questions.

Brandon Giella: Yeah, yeah, no,
what what comes to mind is a quote.

It's a C.

S.

Lewis quote, and I think this is on your
website, but it's the idea that, um, it's

not about thinking less of ourselves,
but about thinking of ourselves less.

Which is a really beautiful, elegant
way to say, it's not just that we

should not consider ourselves in high
regard or have self respect or just

think, you know, just love ourselves
and care for ourselves and have self

care and boundaries and all that.

It's not that.

It's that sometimes we can overdo the
importance that we have on ourselves.

And if I could maybe tease out what
you're saying a little bit, that.

If you're on some of these social
platforms like a Facebook or Instagram

or even Twitter, I would say even
LinkedIn, uh, you name it, any of those

platforms, it incur, it makes you feel as
if you're a the center of the universe.

Like I have something
to say and be it makes.

Other people's highlight reels are,
that's, that's one of the quotes that

people show their highlight reels on
Instagram and Facebook and all that.

I went on this trip, I had this promotion,
I, you know, drive this car or whatever.

And it makes us as users on those
platforms think less of ourselves.

and that we don't measure up or you
start having that envy or that greed

or that, you know, that, that whatever.

So it's that, is that right?

Am I capturing that well, that it's, it's
kind of these, this dual, uh, flaw in

what is social media these days typically.

Giancarlo Newsome: Absolutely, absolutely.

And you know, uh, some of the folks
that, you know, practically speaking,

that helped me get through a pretty
tough period was exactly that.

They, they didn't, they never encouraged
me to think less of myself, right?

They just said, just don't
think so much on yourself.

And so they encouraged me, you know, one,
to give things to God, a bigger power.

Like, the world is way, like,
the universe, if you believe in

a creator, is so beyond our, our,
just, smallest understanding.

Um, and then, just work.

Just stay busy.

You know, is the guidance.

And, and, and, in a way, that was
kind of a way of saying, empowering

humility, is like, just don't get
caught up with so many things we can't

control, and, and you think about, you
know, our, um, the attention economy.

Um, it just feeds into that, that
natural human desire to want to

control things within our own paradigm.

And, um, a former pastor, I loved
his guidance to me when I went

through that difficult period was,
well, I think it's a very good

truth, is security is an illusion.

But if you think about everything that's
hitting us on Facebook, all the time

saying no, no, no, you can't be serious,
just take this one quick solution, read

this one quick book, listen to this
one quick person, go see, and you think

about how we've elevated like mental
health therapists and counselors, um, if

they're good, they're wonderful, but if
they don't have humility, they can really

just supercharge, um, their own biases
and your own trauma, And it's actually

for their financial benefit to do so,

Brandon Giella: Hmm,

Giancarlo Newsome: Just like,
just like Facebook and the other

algorithms and social media that
want to capture your attention.

They don't want to let you go.

Kind of like getting a net.

Brandon Giella: I

Giancarlo Newsome: a net for a spider.

Just a funnel analogy
maybe you can play off of.

If you think about it, the attention
economy, be it mental health

counselors, social media algorithms,
they basically are building a net.

They, they are the, they're the spider
building a net Off of your trauma off

your your biases off of your leanings for
better for worse so they can capture you

And eat off you feed off you indefinitely

Brandon Giella: Yeah, I
call in the business world.

I call those people like gurus.

They're just the guru that says they
can 10 X your business and they can do

X and Y and all these amazing things.

And you know, they just need 30 minutes
of your time and you're going to get a

thousand leads and it's going to be free.

You know, I got this assessment,
you know, all that kind of stuff.

And I, uh, I am so allergic
to some of that stuff because

sometimes things are just hard.

You know, or sometimes they're unexpected.

You know, the security, the, the,
the, um, you know, estimating

the future is so uncertain.

We have no idea.

So a little bit of humility
in that we have no idea what

the future is going to hold.

Um, but no, to your point about, uh,
about, what you can control and that worry

and that kind of self inflicted pain.

I think of Ryan holiday, the daily stoic.

If you're familiar, he's got a lot of
content on, he's, he's even got this

like medallion, you can buy this little
gold medallion and on one side it

says, you know, basically like what you
can control, what you can't control.

And it's, it's a reminder to lose that,
that anxiety that we all have, that

there's stuff out of your control.

Just let it go.

So, anyway, it helps me, my
humility in my, in myself sometimes.

Giancarlo Newsome: know, I wonder if
we you know in a future podcast to to

bring him on or or bring him on with
like Jonathan hight who wrote the anxious

Brandon Giella: Yeah, I would love that.

Yeah, yeah.

Ryan, he's down in Austin.

It's not too far from me.

So, yeah, anyway, anyway.

Um, so I want to be clear though.

One thing that I think about
with social media and all that.

A lot of, we all are on social media.

I mean, you're, you're on, I'm
on, everybody's on social media.

So it's not that social
media per se is bad, right?

It's just more of the ways that it
can capture us if we're not careful.

Is that fair to say, the

Giancarlo Newsome: right, right, right Yep

Brandon Giella: Okay.

Okay.

That's good.

I think that is a helpful thing
because it's easy to, to just degrade,

deride social media as like the
worst thing ever, but it, it can

be actually really a great thing if
you're aware of what it can do to you.

I think maybe that's the

Giancarlo Newsome: Yeah, absolutely.

And that's where like, you know, our,
we, um, we feel that, you know, the,

the technologies we want to build
are to help people manage better

that their social media, experience.

So one of the things that we're
building, and actually we already have a

partnership with a company called Myndoor
that they built this for astronauts

and military folks that were going in
tough places where we can't send these

great humans to do this great work
if they have mental health concerns.

So can we catch it early?

And so it detects stress, problematic
stress, before it gets the best of us.

So if, and, The other and what
they're helping us do is build

the same thing for biases.

So the use case is You're wouldn't it
be nice if you're on social media, but

then you know, you have an empowering
humility plugin That's that you've allowed

to monitor your communication and all
of a sudden it gives you a little pop.

Hey Brandon you're statistically You're
showing some signs and some language

that you're showing some biases and maybe
even help point to the specific type of

bias that your language is communicating.

so that's, but we're not saying to
not come off social media, we're just

helping users have a safer experience
by giving them better self awareness,

giving them indications of potentially
malevolent influence, and that's the plan.

Brandon Giella: Yeah.

Yeah.

I love that.

So we talked about some of social
media and things like that,

but I want to go into what are.

The benefits of humility.

So we've talked we're talking kind of,
you know, loosely We've talked about

some of the problems and I and I think
the problem is very evident for most

people you know that you don't have as
much trust when people feel like when

when somebody's an arrogant or there's
a leader that suffering from hubris.

Um, you can be defensive.

There's resistance from each other
if we feel like we're not welcome.

And then of course all the
different anxieties and worries

that come out of self centeredness
and, and, and all of that.

In addition to things like what
Jonathan Haidt talks about in his book

of the anxious generation and suicide
rates are up, especially for younger

folks on social, there's all of that.

And I think a lot of people that are,
that are listening are pretty familiar.

But I want to talk about some of
the things that might be really

great coming out of, uh, if you
focus on humility as a practice,

using technology in different ways.

Using say prayer or meditation
or other spiritual practices.

Um, what have you seen in your life
when you have developed humility in

addition to maybe some of the research
that you and your team have found

that, um, that supports that if you
can embrace humility in your, in your

life through different practices,
you get, you know, X and Y outcome.

Can you talk a little bit about that?

Giancarlo Newsome: Sure.

Sure.

and also maybe double back on some
kind of how we came to be, empowering

humility, and why I'm involved.

most people, so I think the question
is You know, and I encourage listeners,

just think through what good Do you
enjoy Where humility isn't part of it?

and I think when you Start looking for
where it has so much benefit health

mental relational spiritual it's really
eye opening And so i'll give you some

examples of where You Like asking myself
that own question or having that revealed

to me I think was really like an aha.

Wow moment is you think the united
states when it was founded You know,

you could say it was founded On a desire
for shared humility, we're not going

to have one monarch dictate what we're
doing We're going to share humility.

We're going to decentralize

if we want to put it in this context
You And create the most prosperous

republic that the world's ever seen.

Even though I'm actually in Italy right
now, Venice did the same thing and you

think about democratic or republic values
and like our constitutional values,

they are in effect a form of securing
shared humility that no one has all the

answers and that we're so much greater
when we Share and collaborate together.

And so that's like at a collective
societal level also at an individual level

the I Had I'm a person of faith and I had
I Had a kindergarten teacher Brandon that

when Um When I graduated high school, so
12 years later came up to me at graduation

and told me That they've been praying
for me every day since kindergarten

Brandon Giella: Wow.

Giancarlo Newsome: Yeah, I was and I
thought that's just amazing anyhow,

so And i've been around other people
who've been faithful People of

prayer and i've always admired them.

There was just a a humility about them
that I admired it So anyhow I built

an app just to journal my prayers
because I just handwritten them.

It was a very simple,
you know, nothing fancy.

And as I, um, in parallel started helping,
um, with some innovation cultivation

circles, specifically in defense, you
know, it kind of hit me that all of

this beautiful defense innovation,
all these amazing entrepreneurs.

All this great work, like if we don't
restore humility back to society as like

a core foundation, a shared value, it's
really all for naught because this great

technology is going to end up in the
hands of the next, you know, you know, you

think about, think of the world, think of
also the worst people we know in history.

They got absolutely consumed
by their pride, their hubris.

In, in this whole process of joining
the defense innovation community, having

built this prayer app, it kind of hit
me that, you know, actually the act

of prayer, um, regardless of faith,
frankly, the act of reflection, the act

of asking questions, the ask, the, when
you share prayer, you're effectively

asking a question to someone else.

You're sharing a question
with someone else.

You're sharing a concern,
you're sharing an insecurity.

That these, that the act of
prayer is an act of humility.

So, um, Anyhow, and if you look at
the statistic behind people who,

who faithfully pray, you know, like
they're even like lower mortality

risk, um, because basically our
body when we're stressed and you

think about how stress affects our
bodies, it creates inflammation that

activates other physiological problems.

Um, I love Dr.

Brad Owens.

He's done a study on how humility
helps leadership performance and

also organizational performance.

But what's really, what I really love
about his study is we all know the

person that was like the straight
A student who never studied, right?

That wasn't me.

He's got, he's done the studies that
said those who are more humble can arrive

at the same mental ability as let's say
that straight a person who never studied.

So it, the, the benefits
are huge in any of that.

That's our quest with empowering
humility is to help, um, those who want

Individuals, companies, organizations.

Um, to empower humility in the ranks
and to bring these benefits to society.

Brandon Giella: hmm.

I love how you talked about two things.

One is the idea of creating humility in a
systemic way, like creating a system that,

that makes that a lot, um, I guess more
difficult to see or to create in a system.

So, uh, you talked about
like the, the republic.

of America and their founding fathers
and the way that they designed our

system is a way to root out that kind
of totalitarian regime that can always

crop up and always has cropped up
whether it's a king or a dictator or

Giancarlo Newsome: Yeah.

Brandon Giella: very important
person in your community.

Giancarlo Newsome: Or
just look at Enron, right?

The group think that happened there.

I mean, we all know cases
of toxic leadership.

What's the root?

Is it a crazy level of hubris?

Brandon Giella: And it's a human thing.

I mean, we all, since the days of old,
we have big, we are almost like driven to

be this, like the center of the universe.

And so it's so natural and you have to
fight against that natural position.

And so creating systems using
technology, creating ways to

create maybe some objectivity.

Uh, around your world, but I'm, I'm
curious, you mentioned prayer and maybe

we can end on this, but are there other
kinds of tips that you've seen, you

know, maybe aside from technology or in
the different things that you've seen

in your own life or in your research
that your team is conducting that your

average person can take away and, and
try to practice humility in a, in a

more deep and abiding way, is there
things like that that come to mind that

you've, you've practiced over the years?

Giancarlo Newsome: You know, I think,
um, the, just journaling questions and

kind of, you know, we want to appeal
to people with faith and without,

because I don't think you can even
have a true faith without humility.

Brandon Giella: Amen.

Giancarlo Newsome: So um, journaling
those questions, call it what you

want, you can call those your prayers.

Right?

Um, gratitude is also really, really,
is, is, is probably a great litmus test

for your degree of humility because
the, and I think, um, I, I, and I,

everyone quotes Einstein, I mean,
someone can call me on if it's wrong,

but, you know, I, I believe he wrote,
um, the more you, you want to know, the

more you have to admit you don't know.

Like really embrace that paradox dive
into it and it's it's it's really fun

I really think that that's in Maslow's
hierarchy, you know, if we wanted to

break make a hierarchy in that self
actualization I think humility is where

you start at the bottom of that tip
self actualization and go to the top

because it's it's It's really cool.

You know, you all said you start
looking like at a Little flower

you start looking at from all
the different angles and you go.

Oh my goodness.

I missed that And then, then with human
relationships too, when, when you're, when

you're so like not concerned with your
maybe, maybe's, maybe's, maybe's, maybe's,

maybe's, maybe's, bottom hierarchy of
needs, you can really appreciate who

that other human being is despite all
those things you may really not like.

So, um, I think generally just writing
in any form and, and, and reviewing

and reflecting on those and watching.

Watching how you you you find
peace over time with some

of these questions, you know

Brandon Giella: I love that.

I love that.

Well, as we wrap up this first episode,
is there any parting thoughts or closing

thoughts that you, you want to make sure
that our listeners understand or, you

know, uh, can take to heart before we get
into some of the other topics that we want

to get into and, and subsequent episodes.

Giancarlo Newsome: Brandon thanks.

I'm new to this podcast world.

So, um, I think Uh, just want to encourage
listeners, you know, uh, we're trying to

make a a verb out of let's humble I guess.

Yeah, like put that into action.

So I um and uh

I make bets with friends.

So, how about this, because I can't
bet to every listener and make this

bet, but I can bet it with you.

Brandon, um, if anyone calls you up
saying, hey, humility did not help

me feel better, I owe you lunch.

Okay?

Brandon Giella: you up on that in Italy.

It better be in Italy too.

Giancarlo Newsome: And in Italy,
okay, I'll, I'll, I'll do that.

So, um, uh, if you want to
send Brandon to Italy, then.

For lunch.

Uh, tell him that you, that humility
is, is not helping you have a

better work and personal life.

Brandon Giella: I love that.

I love that.

That's great.

I will try to put it into practice
and I'll, I'll take you up on that.

But I need it.

You mentioned stress and all that earlier.

It's just like, man, yeah, so
much stress is so easy to get into

your life and it is so damaging.

So I could, I could take some of these
tips and probably be a little healthier.

John Carlo.

Thank you so much for your
time for this episode.

I can't wait to talk to you.

And episode two, we are going to be
talking about politics because we

have an upcoming election and humility
is not one of the campaign promises.

So we need to talk about that.

So we will see you again in episode two.

Giancarlo Newsome: thanks Miranda.